This evening highlights two strands of thoughts about human relationships I've been thinking about since living in Seattle. Jason & I had dinner with three of my classmates and their "significant others" (I really don't like that term, but it's useful.)

First, Jason and I agree that when it comes down to it, we feel the most comfortable hanging out with Asians. In that group, we were Chinese, Filipino and Japanese. I realized that as I got older (it started happening in high school), my friends (and particularly, close ones) all happened to be Asian-Americans. I thought perhaps it was just a coincidence. In Seattle, the locals pride themselves on being particularly diverse... yes, compared to Oregon perhaps, but it's nothing like California! And it's definitely only in the major cities. We have about 25% minorities in my law school class (higher than average for Seattle, compare to about 40% "minority", or rather, "plurality", at Berkeley.) But it's just a natural connection - conversation is easier, jokes are funnier, much more in common, less self-consciousness even? I've grown to really like my groupmates (most are NOT Asian), but it's taken a long time to get to this point. Race consciousness and my sensitivity to race relations has definitely grown significantly in the past 9 months. It's been challenging at times to force myself to get beyond the initial awkwardness...and at times, it still is less natural... but hey, at least, I don't feel particularly weird at school or church being one of a few Asian faces and (truly) minority.

Second, cohabitation is very normal and almost expected for serious couples. Out of the four couples (including Jason & I) tonight, two are living together. Well, Jason and I obviously don't live together (haha), and the other couple is an engaged Christian couple. The two couples that do live together have been together 3 and 5 years, respectively. Now I'm not sure about other metropolitan cities... but Seattle's cohabitation rate is the highest, I believe, 2.5 times greater than the average, I think? It's very normal, and to me, it just seems to represent the natural inclination of human beings to develop stable one-to-one relationships with each other, that is, very much like a typical marriage relationship. I believe nearly all of my groupmates who are in "serious" relationships (together more than 1 yr) do live together. Though it is also true that people are more likely to be in serious relationships serially (one after the other, rather than a lifetime with one person.) I remember when Jason's friends found out I was moving up to Seattle, their presumption was that I'd live with him. His apartment manager also expected that I'd move in with him.

I wonder what kind of society we'll be in another few decades. Will marriage become the minority relationship, and more and more "domestic partnerships"? What kind of effect, if any, will that have on future generations of kids and the family unit in general? Does the "label" of a relationship make a difference? (Two of my groupmates have children and have been with their "partners" for 8 and 25 years. They look and act like a typical nuclear family.)