Yesterday, I walked up and down The Ave (nickname for University Street, quite similar to Telegraph Ave. in Berkeley) to buy some books for class. As I mentioned already (below, haha) it had been snowing earlier in the day, but by then had subsided.

I noticed an older homeless man sitting on the edge of a planter, sipping what looked to be a hot liquid from a crumpled Burger King cup. A young Asian couple stopped to give him some change, and I walked past him, wondering if I should do the same.

(In the last few days it has been so cold here in Seattle... and even I, living in my super-heated apartment building, felt it. I wondered and hoped that the homeless had a place to go to keep out of the cold, particularly at night.)

I walked by the man, glancing at him from the corner of my eye, but didn't stop and trudged up to the bookstore. I reached into my pocket for my gloves and found six dollars, and recall that I had stuffed my change in there after lunch the day before. Maybe I should give it to him, I thought. But then all these justifications and rationalizations also came over me... and I always think, I should just give it directly to a homeless shelter or organization. The man may use it for alcohol or drugs.

After some time in the bookstore, where I bought a few items not for school (e.g. "cute" stationery, etc.) I was walking back down the same street and realized that the man might still be there. I then saw him, and without much conscious thought, I pulled the six dollars out, walked over to him and offered it to him.

He looked a little surprised (maybe at the amount, I'm not sure though) and seemed quite appreciative, saying "Thank you." I just gave him a little smile and walked on, feeling fairly good about myself. (I usually let my rationality and "common sense" get in the way of being charitable to the homeless or beggars, but then would still feel guilty aftewards.)

For some reason, the "thank you" from the man - one that seemed truly grateful - has stuck with me. I wish I could say that I don't need appreciation to be generous, but that's not true. I guess it makes me think that perhaps that little bit of money made his day a little brighter. Maybe it helped him get a larger meal for dinner. Maybe... I don't know.

Today I realized that I didn't even stop to talk to the man. I just gave him money and walked away. Even in Berkeley, I was never the most comfortable talking or being around the homeless folks. Yes, in part it was due to them being smelly and unpredictable (maybe they were crazy and would yell at me, or maybe even hurt me). However, I think it was also because I never took the time to talk to them... I still see them as "other", as if they aren't quite the same as you or me.

In any case, I resolve to take some time to both give money and talk with the person. I am sure they get lonely just as I get lonely. And I can learn a little more about this human being made in the image of God, who is not so dissimilar from me as I would think.