Today, I suddenly realized that I've been perpetuating a bad attitude (usually unquestioned and empathized by all around me) about the finals season and the taking of exams. I just want to whine and complain and try to avoid it, if at all possible (it's not). And my feelings sway back and forth between an apprehensive fear and a mere adrenaline buzz that forces me to hit the books. I see final exams as a necessary evil, and one that is an obstacle to my degree and my freedom and happiness.

Along with that realization, however, it also occurred to me that if I'm to learn contentment in all circumstances (and duh, particularly the ones that don't naturally lend themselves to it), this will not do. I suppose I'm never to grow in this area if I'm only content when life is swell.

So, I started to look at this time of intense studying (er, cramming) as something enjoyable and even, dare I say it?, praiseworthy. I started thinking about all of the interesting subjects I've been learning... and what I'll know after all of this studying. And the complete focus and intensity of the studying - after all, no one expects me to be anywhere else doing anything else - is a luxury few are afforded in our busy society. To devote one's mind to the mastery of difficult legal concepts and then to be challenged in applying them to interesting factual scenarios, and then to be judged in one's mental performance... it's a means to exercise and develop my brain. And really, it can be kinda fun.

And now, I'm committed to maintaining an attitude of contentment and gratefulness (is that going too far?) in the remaining time. And I'm sure I'll study better for it and will make the next 9.5 days far more tolerable.