D.J.: This song is dedicated to Natalie P. and those of you out there who may still be trying to figure things out. (That's probably all of us.)

Bus Driver (Caedmon's Call)

I am a bus driver
and it's four in the morning
And I'm pressing out my clothes beside my bed
Fourteen years been on the job and with many miles behind
Still I'm up at three thirty to make sure I'm there on time

My car gets me along just fine to and from the station
But my castle is this Houston Metro Bus
My first stop is Ashbury.
And the sign's been gone for years
but all the same the people wait cause they know that I'll be there.

What would you say if I told you that I won't be by today?
Would you say that I'm just a bus driver
and what do I know,
just a bus driver
and what do I know,
just a bus driver
and what do I know?

Well, I'm always there by five fifteen
and lately I've been early
'cause Judith likes to be in early to the bank.
And she gives me conversation and a token good for riding.
And she's happy all alone

And then there's Charles in retail sales;
and I hope they pay him well
for the work that young man does
Cause I've never seen the inside
of a custom refrigerator
but I know he's the first and last one there

I wonder what they do all day,
and their respective works.
Suppose they give money and take money away.
Still, I'm just orbiting this town
with the post office my sun.
And I'm circling again.

And I wonder how this world would be
if I was never here to drive this bus around from Ashbury to Main.
Suppose this town would be the same
but with one bus' less exhaust.
But that bank and retail stores,
they just wouldn't be the same.

But what can I see from the limited confines of my bus driving seat?
Only me.

Woo-hoo... we're hitting the 60s and sun! The city was busting out iced coffee today.

Maybe that wasn't so clear... "social capital" could probably be better translated as "community." (See previous entry.)

Jason & I spent time with my neighbors, watching ALIAS. Just doing my part to build social capital! Then again, this blog stuff is probably contributing to the breakdown of social capital... too many of us net junkies chained to our computers. :P Okay, I'm submerging again... have this nasty paper due 3pm tomorrow. It's going to be a long night (and morning.)

Bowling Alone

Our pastor spoke on the deterioration or degredation of "social capital" in our society. "Social capital" is a term a Harvard Public Policy guy uses to refer to the value of the relational-ness of our society. See his book site: www.BowlingAlone.com. From less people involved in community clubs, fewer folks sitting down to a real meal together, to the rise of fast-food chains and evolution of living spaces that prohibit at-home entertaining (e.g. no porches for people to hang out and chat with neighbors, small condos, etc.).... our society is more and more about individualism. It's rather unusual for us to know our neighbors' names, much less spend time with them.

Ironically, when we focus on ourselves and our own work, our own entertainment (e.g. web-surfing) and our own well-being, the more lonely and discontent we become. There are fewer and fewer of these "gathering places" (a "Third Place"), places where people can interact with others. Even with the explosion of Starbucks coffeeshops around the nation, Pastor Mark noted that we go to the coffeeshop to feel less alone, but we sit at our own little table with our own cup of coffee reading our own paper or book.

We do this in the church too. We go, stay for a sermon or Sunday school, chat briefly and leave to do our own things. Even though I want to be involved with the fellow believers, I'm just too..... Busy. Tired. Lazy. Unwilling. Afraid. Discouraged. Spent. Apathetic.

Ecclesiastes 4:4-16 speaks to this condition. Due to jealousy, laziness, workaholism, discontentment, we separate and isolate ourselves from others... and yet "Two are better than one.... for if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion...." That's the way things are meant to be.

"reaching UP to get toilet paper while using the industrial toilet
spying on anne's neighbors from her window
drinking more coffee in one morning in anne's studio than i have all year
having a blended avocado drink at ?? cafe
driving through the beautiful UW campus and arboretum
having yip research possible causes of my polydipsia
sharing a semi-inflated air mattress w/janet
seeing more of elaine in one weekend than i usually see her 2 states away at home!
flirting with a cute baby with janet on the airplane
visiting superlative starbucks (the first one, and the coolest one with rotating panels that block off a cool study/games area)"

-Beverly Tseng, reminiscences on the April 11-13 weekend in Seattle

I feel like I'm being swallowed by a deep dark abyss...

I'm sure you'll all get a kick out of this. For our Spring Appellate Brief competition, the first year class is going to be arguing the Pledge of Allegiance case. If you didn't hear about it last year, it's basically an atheist on a crusade who has been attempting to remove "under God" from the Pledge, claiming that it's unconstitutional because it violates the Establishment clause. The Establishment clause says that Congress isn't supposed to make any law that would "establish" a religion, i.e. endorse, encourage, promote, etc.

Specifically though, he alleges that it violates his constitutional rights because the Pledge is led by teachers in his daughter's public school each morning. Not only does it "indoctrinate" his daughter (who, according to her mother who has legal custody of her, is a Christian) but it also "alienates" him (in the oh-so-very-likely event that he'll be present) and makes him feel like an outsider, that his beliefs are marginalized, etc etc. Some background on his relationship with his daughter - not only does he not have legal custody of her, he used to live in Florida where he brought this suit and was unsuccessful (given the nature of the claim, he needs to have something called "standing" to bring it.) So he moves out to California where the mother and his daughter live, and brings suit there. The 9th Circuit (the federal appeals level) has said that he does have standing and that is does violate his constitutional rights.

I am fortunate enough to get to represent this guy, and we're going all the way to the Supreme Court! Thank goodness this isn't real life (though it could be.) Watch your tax dollars at hard work! We'll tackle the coins next... "In God or No God or Whomever or Whatever We Trust Or Don't Trust."

I cut my hair (8-10 inches would be my guess) in commemoration of Resurrection Sunday. The old is gone, the new is come... I tell everyone it's because I'm a Liberated woman! :) Too bad I don't have a digital camera. I like it, although my neck does get cold and I'm now using my scarves! (Thanks Theresa for the beautiful purple one you made for me!)

He is Risen! Enjoy a few good hymns to celebrate.

"The next day, the one after Preparation Day, the chief priests and the Pharisees went to Pilate. 'Sir,' they said, 'we remember that while he was still alive that deceiver said, 'After three days I will rise again.' So give the order for the tomb to be made secure until the third day. Otherwise, his disciples may come and steal the body and tell the people that he has been raised from the dead. This last deception will be worse than the first.'

'Take a guard,' Pilate answered. 'Go, make the tomb as secure as you know how.' So they went and made the tomb secure by putting a seal on the stone and posting the guard."

-Mark 27:62-66

In 1998, a statute of Dietrich Bonhoeffer was erected above the door of the Westminster Abbey in London. It is one of ten statutes, among legends such as Martin Luther King, Jr. and little-knowns like Wang Zhiming, depicting 20th century Christian martyrs honored for their courageous faith.

Been reading the Gospels about the events leading up to the crucifixion of Christ. A little Dietrich Bonhoeffer's Letters & Papers From Prison sprinkled in there as well:

Of Suffering
"It is infinitely easier to suffer in obedience to a human command than in the freedom of one's own responsibility. It is infinitely easier to suffer with others than to suffer alone. It is infinitely easier to suffer publicly and honorably than apart and ignominiously. It is infinitely easier to suffer through staking one's life than to suffer spiritually. Christ suffered as a free man alone, apart and in ignominy, in body and spirit; and since then many Christians have suffered with him."

Optimism
"It is wiser to be pessimistic; it is a way of avoiding disappointment and ridicule, and so wise people condemn optimism. The essence of optimism is not its view of the present, but the fact that it is the inspiration of life and hope when others give in; it enables a man to hold his head high when everything seems to be going wrong; it gives him strength to sustain reverses and yet to claim the future for himself instead of abandoning it to his opponent. It is true that there is a silly, cowardly kind of optimism, which we must condemn. But the optimism that is will for the future should never be despised, even if it is proved wrong a hundred times; it is health and vitality, and the sick man has no business to impugn it. There are people who regard it as frivolous, and some Christians think it impious for anyone to hope and prepare for a better earthly future. They think that the meaning of present events is chaos, disorder, and catastrophe; and in resignation or pious escapsim they surrender all responsibility for reconstruction and for future generations. It may be that the day of judgment will dawn tomorrow; in that case, we shall gladly stop working for a better future. But not before."

Easter
"Easter? We're paying more attention to dying than to death. We're more concerned to get over the act of dying than to overcome death. Socrates mastered the art of dying; Christ overcame death as 'the last enemy' (1 Cor. 15.26)..... Here is the answer to 'Give me somewhere to stand, and I will move the earth' (Archimedes; translation). If a few people really believed that and acted on it in their daily lives, a great deal would be changed. To live in the light of the resurrection - that is what Easter means. Do you find, too, that most people don't know what they really live by? This perturbatio animorum spreads amazingly. It's an unconscious waiting for the word of deliverance, though the time is probably not yet ripe for it be heard. But the time will come, and this Easter may be one of our last chances to prepare ourselves for our great task of the future."


Born in 1906, Dietrich Bonhoeffer was a brilliant German theologian and pastor, receiving his doctorate in theology at the age of 21. Bonhoeffer's theologically rooted opposition to National Socialism first made him a leader, along with Martin Niemueller and Karl Barth, in the anti-Nazi Confessing Church, and an advocate on behalf of the Jews. His efforts to help a group of Jews escape to Switzerland were what first led to his arrest and imprisonment in the spring 1943. He was hanged in the concentration camp at Flossenburg on April 9, 1945, one of four members of his immediate family to die at the hands of the Nazi regime for their participation in the small Protestant resistance movement. He left behind his surviving fiancee. The Cost of Discipleship and Life Together are a couple of his well-known works.

Weekend highlights (again, in no particular order):

1. Discussions on strange sleep behavior - 3 of us are teethgrinders, and Elaine says Janet sings in her sleep.
2. Stepping over and around each other in the studio apartment and waiting our turn for the bathroom.
3. Squabble! (As in the game using Scrabble tiles, not fighting.)
4. Going to church together, and also with another friend from school.
5. Bev's laugh and ninja-turtle smile.
6. Running four or five blocks to the car in the rather heavy rain, getting soaked, and only to discover later that we had umbrellas in our bags.
7. Hanging out and talking until 4:30am in the morning - yes, of course we talked about our biggest crushes on boys.
8. Shopping. Getting a great deal on the Christmas 2000 Starbucks mugs at the Fremon Flea Market.
9. Eating delicious food - Chinese, soups, Korean, Indian, Thai, Vietnamese, Italian, and boba drinks.
10. Finding Arizona iced tea (the green tea w/honey that's not available in San Jose Safeway) with Elaine and then taking the bus downtown.
11. Buying beautiful, amazing, gargantuan tulips on STEROIDS at Pike Place Market.
12. Racing to the airport (got Elaine to her flight 10 mins before departure) and enjoying the beautiful water views along the freeway.
13. Relaxing and not thinking about school... enjoying and appreciating my great girlfriends! So glad you came to visit me! :)

I've been looking for summer housing in D.C. Let me know if you have any leads!

Also, my dear friends Beverly, Janet and Elaine will be visiting me in Seattle this weekend. Good times ahead!

"Have we lost touch with the heroic?" was one of the questions Gary Haugen posed to us.

Haugen, the president of International Justice Mission, spoke at a prayer breakfast for local Christian attorneys, law students, judges, etc. I had a chance to speak with him briefly afterwards. He's not as tall as I imagined him to be (I envisioned an intimidating, tall and broad figure. Still broad, though, and not too intimidating.) He was also engaging and extremely personable to a lowly first-year law student.

Haugen believes that God created in each of us a desire to be part of something larger than ourselves, to sacrifice ourselves for something worthy and good. We have a yearning to participate in the heroic. He thinks the legal profession has lost touch with the heroic. The legal profession is not the first one to come to mind when we ask, who are the heroes? Instead, we imagine firefighters or doctors. The impression is that there aren't any opportunities for lawyers to be heroic. His talk focused on three components that are important for maintaining a sense of the heroic in our lives.

First, a vision of the ennobling ideals of our calling or profession (he was speaking to lawyers, but analogized to doctors as well, and I think it can be applicable to any field.) What is that makes the calling good and worthy? For lawyers, to seek justice. For doctors, to bring healing. So many times, the process of becoming and being one beats us down so that we lose touch with these ideals and no longer believe in these ideals.

Second, a compassion for those that are suffering.

Third, help for the desperately needy. There is a spectrum of urgency in any field. Doctors treat complex sports injuries, perform plastic surgeries, save gunshot wound victims, etc. Often times we begin to serve only those who can afford such services, and consequently, the most needy are overlooked and forgotten. And yet, all around the world, the innocent, vulnerable and powerless are at the mercy of unrestrained evil. There are children sold to work their lives away in slavery conditions, young children displayed and used as commodities for pedophiles, and people imprisoned or executed because they are wrongfully charged, don't understand the legal system and have no advocate.

His message was inspirational, and a great reminder for asking myself, why am I doing what I'm doing? He didn't say that all of us need to be directly involved with human rights work, but as Christians, how are we to participate in the work of justice for the oppressed? Can we give our prayers, money or time to serve?

I went to the IMA (our school gym / exercise facility) with a classmate for the first time yesterday. (Elite, are you proud of me? Are you walking with Joy these days?) My dad always reminds me that I need to be doing some sort of physical exercise... but I always think of that verse where Paul the apostle says physical training is of some value, but spiritual training far more so. So I generally excuse myself of physical training, after all, I barely have time to do the spiritual!

However, I'm quite enamored by the strict discipline in the life of an athlete. I keep thinking about Eric Liddell in Chariots of Fire. "When I run, I feel the pleasure of God" or something to that effect. Also, I'm starting to realize that I'm not a teenager anymore. Sitting around will definitely make my flabby. And the whole endorphins thing has some validity to it. Except waking up super-early negates it, in my opinion.

The major (I don't mind the minor) soreness kinda stinks though - today I've had a painful time walking, particularly downhill.

Buttercup Days

Where is Anne?
Head above the buttercups,
Walking by the stream,
Down among the buttercups.

Where is Anne?
Walking with her man,
Lost in a dream,
Lost among the buttercups.

What has she got in that little brown head?
Wonderful thoughts which can never be said.
What has she got in that firm little fist of hers?
Somebody's thumb, and it feels like Christopher's.

Where is Anne?
Close to her man.
Brown head, gold head,
In and out the buttercups.

--A.A. Milne (creator of Winnie the Pooh), Now We Are Six